It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
