Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
