I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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