love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
