The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
