I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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