she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
