wanna go halves on a baby?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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