Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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