Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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