Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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