i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
