In the future we'll all be gay
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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