I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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