so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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