Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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