This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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