Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
