she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
