so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
