omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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