Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I looked at my own cervix.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
