the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
