I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
