i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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