Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
