Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
