No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
