I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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