In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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