i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
