dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
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