Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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