he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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