She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i've created a new STD.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
