well I can't set my house on fire every night
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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