I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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