that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
