just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
