I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
