So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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