Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
