dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Do vagina's smell?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
