Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize