The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize