But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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