Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
