You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
