I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
