it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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