"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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