Me. At least after what I've been through.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
