He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
As shirtless as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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