drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize