i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
